My Life in the Fat Lane – Southern Addition
My Ole Ball ‘n Chain is a Yank with German/Danish Heritage. Up Milwaukee way. My dad likes to tell folks, “He’s from up there in North Georgia.” Hubby’s dad liked to tell folks that they were “Great Danes.” Fondly, I refer to him sometimes as “The Dane.”
Through the years, The Dane and I have gone through some culture shock with each other. It all started with the word “roof.” Where I’m from, we say it with long o’s – roooof. The Dane pronounces it “ruf.” One day, we decided to let Siri end the debate. When The Dane spoke into the phone, Siri sent us links to a dog (haha).
Since I won the argument, I told him it was high time he learned some Southern ways. While schooling him, I’ve realized just how confusing things must be when you aren’t born with the manual implanted in your brain. Bless his heart. I started with trying to teach him the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit. He sorta got that down and then I confused him again when we got to the part about pitchin’ one vs. throwin’ one. After that, I moved on to trying to explained to him about “yonder.” See, sometimes yonder is close by and sometimes it’s farther away, it sort of depends on the context. The Dane isn’t havin’ any of that, he makes folks tell him specifically how far in miles they think it is and he ain’t afraid to use a map. Bless his heart. Then there was this time that these nice neighbors were talking about a mess of black-eyed peas (which he hates) and I saw the look on his face and just knew the whole schooling him idea was falling apart.
That was until the other day when we went to the grocery store. The Dane turned to me and said, “You reckon we’re gonna need a buggy?” Aw, it was music to my ears.
Growing up in the South, especially if your family goes back generations, there are things you cannot avoid (even if you want to). David Allen Coe has a list goes a little something like this – mama, trains, trucks and prison. I’d add to that – church, grits, sweet tea, Hank Williams and Patsy Cline.
Song that inspired the title: The Old Country Church – Hank Williams