‘Cause You Were All Yellow

-Yellow – Coldplay-

I like the song ‘Yellow,’ mainly because I think of it as a happy color.  I mean, sunshine is yellow, you know?!

Back when it played a lot on the radio, I thought of it as a happy little tune and turned it up to sing along.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that the song wasn’t some happy little tune about falling in love.  In fact, just the opposite.

I thought I knew all there was to know about being broken-hearted just from going through it myself, but, when you have as many girls in your life as I do, you learn so much more than you ever thought you needed to know about unrequited love. I sure thought I did, until one day when  I walked into my daughter’s room after hearing the song play for the umpteenth time and realized that she was heartbroken.

And OMG, nothing makes me madder (well, yeah, there are other things, but you get the drift) than realizing that one of my girl’s has had her heart-broken because, well, they should be the one’s breaking hearts because dammit, these girls are golden!

In the immediacy of the moment, it wasn’t time for a lesson.  It was just time for gathering up my girl in my arms and rocking her and soothing her hair back from her face while she cried the nastiest, messiest tears that she wondered why she cried in that moment’s not too distant future. 

But later, after that stinging lonely “I’m just gonna die if I don’t have him” feeling is gone, that’s when, as a mother, you try your dangest to teach your girls the lessons that will hopefully keep them for falling for those guys with the big “L” tattooed on their foreheads. 

Through the years, I’ve tried to teach my girls (for some reason boys are different or maybe that’s just mine) that the world really isn’t going to end, (although I know they feel like Mom’s a big ole’ liar and doesn’t have a clue how much it hurts).

But all this got me to thinking…what are the lessons you can learn from a broken heart?

Here’s what I’ve come up with:

  1.  It teaches you that emotional pain, while it hurts when you’re doing through it, will stop at some point and you will move on.
  2. It teaches you quickly that life is not always fair. 
  3. It teaches you that just because you “loved him more than anybody else” doesn’t mean that he has to love you back. 
  4. It teaches you what you don’t want from a guy, which teaches you what you do want from one in the future.
  5. It teaches you that love is not always that lovey-dovey gushy feeling that makes your heart pound when he walks in a room.  It’s way more than that and at times it hurts.
  6. It teaches you that you don’t have to have someone else in your life to be happy.  Some of the best times of my life were with my girlfriends, just hanging out.  That can get a little stifled when you’re in a serious relationship.  If the relationship has been one that’s kept you from your friends, hopefully, it teaches you that you have to make time for all the relationships in your life, not just the romantic ones.
  7. It teaches you how to reset when you’re disappointed and before you know it, there’s a new guy in town that begins to make your heart flutter anew.  (How wonderful it is to know that someone new can do that when the old one is gone).
  8. It teaches you forgiveness. One of my unrequited loves became one of my very best friends (turns out he was gay).
  9. It teaches you that it isn’t always about “the beauty standard” that some times people are just not right for each other chemically. 
  10. Most of all, it teaches you how to love yourself.  When someone has hurt you (even if unintentionally), in order to pick up the pieces of your heart and move forward, you’ll have to learn about the parts of you that are truly wonderful and need to flourish with someone who can appreciate just how truly awesome you really are.  And while it’s a painful lesson to learn, it’s worth it!

As for my girly, she turned out just fine (even if she did play ‘Yellow’ a few hundred more times).

Hope all of you are having a truly awesome summer!

~PJ

Dress – Forever 21; Shoes – Rampage

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